LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

What you call a cruel man using foolish faith to fleece gullible people of their money ... i call great showmanship! I think if you can find a way to make grip-loads of money pushing down Jesus freaks and elederly ladies, more power to you. That's like 2 steps removed from figuring out how feel up breasts for a living.

INNOCENT CRACKERS TAKEN HOSTAGE

On a scale of 1-10, how lame is it to blog about a news story about another blog? I'm not sure so i'm going to do it anyway...

A Minnesota university instructor and avowed atheist is jousting with a national Catholic watch dog group over a smuggled communion wafer, which the associate professor dismisses as a "frackin’ cracker."

Paul Z. Myers, who teaches biology at the University of Minnesota, Morris, on his blog this week expressed amazement that a Florida college student who briefly took a wafer "hostage" from a church ceremony has been receiving death threats for an action that was characterized "a hate crime" by the Catholic League.

Paul ... come on man! It's much more than a cracker sir! Some guy in a robe that can't have sex waved his hand over it and now it's the body of Christ! Everyone knows that.

This reminds me of a book i read where this old woman with face warts lived in a house by herself in the forest. She was cooking something in a big cauldron with steam was pouring over the edges. I don't remember the whole story, but a big part of it involved her picking apples from the trees surrounding her house and then waving her hand over them so they became "enchanted." Anyway i can imagine she would have been pissed off if someone took her apples and held them hostage. She was pretty scary looking, so without her apples, how would she lure small children into her house?

iPOD OR GOD? ... TOUGH CALL

He'd like to stay 17 or 18 the rest of his life? Join the club buddy. When the original Amish founders were making up the story about their religion they should have put something in it about "you'll stay 17 forever if you follow our teachings." I imagine that would have been pretty popular.

Also, I tried to listen to an ipod once, but the ear-bud wires turned into giant serpents and starting spitting out flames until my ears were severely burned. I hate when devil does that kind of stuff, but i had to respect his craftiness and creativity on that one. Good one devil ... good one.

'CAUSE YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH!

16-year-old Neil Beagley's family may as well have hit the repeat button on the song "Faith" by George Michael alongside Neil's hospital bed. I assume this is what is meant by faith healing.

Tuesday's death of 16-year-old Neil Beagley, however, may not be a crime because Oregon law allows minors 14 and older to decide for themselves whether to accept medical treatment.

"All of the interviews from last night are that he did in fact refuse treatment," police Sgt. Lynne Benton said Wednesday. "Unless we can disprove that, charges probably won't be filed in this case."

An autopsy Wednesday showed Beagley died of heart failure caused by a urinary tract blockage.

He likely had a congenital condition that constricted his urinary tract where the bladder empties into the urethra, and the condition of his organs indicates he had multiple blockages during his life, said Dr. Clifford Nelson, deputy state medical examiner for Clackamas County.

Nelson said a catheter would have saved the boy's life. If the condition had been dealt with earlier, a urologist could easily have removed the blockage and avoided the kidney damage that came with the repeated illnesses, Nelson said.

It seems like God is pretty vengeful. He keeps killing people with fairly simple illnesses that were cured a long time ago, no matter how many members of the congregation get together and pray for them?? What a jerk.

I'm not saying someone should drop a nasty case of Pneumonia on churches that endorse faith healing, so these amazingly stupid losers can't reproduce anymore ... but i'm not not saying it either.

WHY AM I STILL HERE?

Did the Nukes go off yet? i'm not sure . I'm hunkered down in a bomb shelter.

I love how they say it's a religious cult as if ALL religions aren't cults. Hilarious.

Name me one difference between a mainstream religion and a cult beside membership numbers?

Let's see ...

safe haven for predators that like sex with super-young people... check.

ridiculous prophecies ... check.

I'm waiting ... one difference ... anyone?...

YOU BETTER LET DERRICK MAKE THAT FREE THROW JESUS!

Memphis coach John Calipari thought having Derrick Rose at the free throw line with the game in his hands was the perfect situation.

The Tigers were up 62-60 with 10.8 seconds left and his standout freshman was ready to hand-deliver Memphis their first national championship.

Hit both free throws and Rose might rival Elvis Presley as Memphis's favorite son.

"I'm going to tell you what I said on the bench when Derrick went to the line," Calipari told reporters. "You know, I think everything in life happens for a reason.

"And I sat there and I looked up and I said, 'Lord, if he makes this, these two, we're supposed to be national champs.' And if that's your will, I'm fine. And if he misses them and we're not, I'm fine with that, too.'

"That's what I said in my mind."

Rose made only one of two free throws and Kansas guard Mario Chalmers hit a game-tying three-pointer from the top of the key with 2.1 seconds left to send the game into overtime.

Looks like the good people at the Westboro Church seem to have the right view of God, as the Lord blessed their home-state Kansas with a NCAA National Championship last night!

Basketball analyst Jay Bilas, deadpans...This game wasn't about god's will, it was about not taking a timeout when you should have, and not fouling when you should have. It was about poise at the end of the game, and Memphis did not have any."

"Everything happens for a reason" alright. Like School Shootings. There's always a good reason for those... like .... um ....

.....um...

....

....Wait here's a better example of why everything happens for a reason....

When your coach constantly downplays free throws and leaves it up looking at the ceiling with the National Championship on the line instead of calling a time out OR fouling up by 3 ... that's a pretty good reason as to why you're not cutting down the nets.



Thanks to Paul G. for the story. Good times.

EXACTLY

Clearly the burden of proof is on non-believers. Prove to me that Moses parting the sea, God speaking to him as a burning bush, the immaculate conception and Noah fitting elevendy billion animals on his arch DIDN'T happen. You have no proof ... none. Jesus wins! Yaaaaaaay!

DAVID TYREE LOVES HIM SOME JESUS

As he says in the video, "How many people heard of David Tyree before the Super Bowl?" (Well I have, because I'm an NFL junkie. But if you didn't know, he's the guy that made that fantastic catch against his helmet to keep the drive going and beat those dirty, cheating Patriots.

I think it's pretty clear at this point that the Patriots DID cheat for sure. Why else would God manifest himself into the form of the Giants 4th wide receiving option, and beat them single handedly?

Well I'm big Packers fan ... So now if you'll excuse me, I have to write Donald Driver and Brett Favre and make sure they're giving God enough glory, so that Jesus lets the Packers win next year.

P.S. Best ... jersey .... ever. Is that one of those Euro hockey league teams? I'm surprised they're not on TV more.