JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M A NON-RACIST

The KKK was battered to the fringes of society... We've changed our discourse on race,

MORALS COME FROM A MAGICAL GUY WITH THREATS

"Name me an ethical action, or moral statement made by a believer that could not have been made or performed non-believer...

Now if i asked any audience if they can name a wicked action undertaken or wicked statement made because of religion ... no one has a moments hesitation."

If i was intelligent and religious ... i think i'd renounce my religion approximately .0009 seconds after i heard that statement. Of course in order to be religious, you generally like to ignore intelligence and logic to remain so. But hey ... if you're gonna make an omelette, you have to break a few church boys' be-hymens*... Wait, maybe i got that wrong. It's something like that though.


*credit: Adam Carolla coined the phrase "be-hymen" in reference losing one's anal virginity

INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR LIFE IS LIKE IKEA FURNITURE WITH A BAG OF SCREWS MISSING

Who cares if that guy is his uncle ... the minute you find out someone has a indigo drawer you burn them. They are a witch. Burn them, preferably alive before their horns sprout.

P.S. Best YouTube ever.

BIG MIDTERM EXAM COMING UP FOR YOUR FAIRY TALE RELIGIONS

"IT'S A LOUSY NIGHT TO BE AN ATHEIST"

So I was enjoying the hell out of watching Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers blast 28 home runs in the Derby last night, when ass-clown Rick Reilly dropped this gem from the announcing booth:

"He beat Cocaine and Heroin addiction, found Religion and made it back to the big leagues. It's a bad night to be an atheist."

Classic! I like how it's still perfectly OK to openly discriminate against atheism. Good times!

In related news since straight-white-Christian Josh Hamilton hit 28 HRs in one round, it was a REALLY bad night to be a Black Gay Muslim.

BEST QUOTE EVER?

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
—Stephen Henry Roberts

I couldn't find any pictures of Stephen Henry Roberts, so i'm going to just make the safe assumption that he looks a lot like Olivia Munn.

Damn it Olivia, are you going to stop stalking me or am i going to have to renew the restraining order against you? I get it. You want to jump my super-sexy muscles. But in order to court me, i need you to stimulate my mind with engaging conversation first. I'm not a piece of meat.

RELIGION IS CHILD ABUSE, SOCCER

Adam Carolla strikes again. I can't wait to laugh at him on Dancing With the Stars on St. Patty's Day. Should be entertaining. He makes the important point again that Atheism isn't a "set of beliefs" itself. It's nothing. Religion is soccer, I don't have a team, i don't follow the entire sport of soccer.

He makes another great and obvious comparison with practicing a religion to following a sports team...

"I grew up in Wisconsin, i'm a Packers Fan. My Dad was a cheesehead, so who do you want me to root for? Wherever you were born, that's your team. That's 90% of where religious people fall."

That's fun that he used my Packers for the comparison!

Surprise fact about me: I went to high school in Green Bay. By religion's thought process, I feel bad for people not born in Wisconsin, because they don't know the one and only truth: The Packers are the team they should follow. People in Europe and Utah are just unlucky that they were born in places that didn't have Brett Favre. Maybe us Packer fans should send out Lombardi Witnesses that go door-to-door to Alabama and Oregon to "enlighten" these unfortunate people. Poor lost souls they are.

WHY IS ADAM CAROLLA SUCH A GENIUS?

"Because he didn't have religious dogma funneled up his ass as a young person!"

That's the reason he gives for being an atheist.

In addition to being an genius, ironically, Adam Carolla is great carpenter. Jesus would be proud! In addition to wood working skills he also hosts my favorite radio show out in L.A. He covers all kinds of topics with all kinds of guests, occasionally delving into religion. It's available for free on itunes.

"A few thousand years ago if i came up with a religion or God that said 'everything's good, you do onto others, and you love your neighbor, and you stay outta trouble and then when you die that's about it... you turn into dirt'... you tell ME IF that CONCEPT would have been embraced?"

How does he puts things this eloquently off the top of his head?? Seriously. It takes me an hour to write a stupid post on here. I hate you Adam, I by "hate you" i mean "Hate you" the same way Vikings fans hate Brett Favre. I secretly want Adam to take snaps from me and win ME a Super Bowl.