JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M A NON-RACIST

The KKK was battered to the fringes of society... We've changed our discourse on race,

THIS IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE

And you thought sex in video games was bad! ... Yahoo says:

LittleBigPlanet, one of this year's most-anticipated PlayStation 3 releases, won't be arriving in stores next week as expected.

The "social platforming" game is already gathering rave reviews, but it hasn't proven popular with one Muslim group, which issued a complaint to the game's publisher Sony concerning one background music track. Performed by award-winning Malian musician Toumani Diabate, the song quotes two verses from the Qur'an. Many Muslims consider the mixing of music and scripture to be deeply offensive.

Although the game is already pressed, packaged, and reportedly sitting in the back rooms of many worldwide retailers awaiting its original Oct. 21 debut, gamers eager to get hold of it will have to wait at least another week while the offending content is expunged. Updated versions of the game are expected to be shipped to stores during the week of October 27.

Wow are these game makers serious!!!? How dare they draw inspiration for their silly, imaginary, fictional game from a silly, imaginary, story of the Qur'an?! Actually, from what i've seen of this game, the events within it look a lot more likely to take place in real life.

It might have something to do with me not being Muslim, but this doesn't sound nearly as offensive as what Kid Rock did to Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama. Now THAT was a gang rape of a classic text.

The real question is, how did any Muslims find out two obsure verses in a video game that isn't even released yet? I'm no expert on Islam, but i'm pretty sure you can't even play video games legally. I mean ... unless there's a video game where the object is to see how many women you can enslave and wrap up like mummies so you won't fall victim to their sinfulness, with built-in pauses every 45 minutes as prayer reminders.... but i can't say i've seen a game like that.

McCAIN'S MORAL COMPASS GETS AN 'F' IN ORIENTEERING

You might watch this clip and think "I guess Obama isn't the only one with a crazy pastor." But in the real world, you probably shouldn't use the word "pastor" without putting the word "crazy" in front of it.

Isn't that fun how it worked out?... The guys who have all the oil for our SUVs also happen to believe in the wrong fairy tale. I mean if that's not an extra good reason to invade someone's country i don't know what is?

Nevermind our economy, health care, social security crisis and violent crime surplus over here in my good 'ol USA, we need to destroy this Islam thing before we're all writing right-to-left and praying 9 times a day to demons. Vote McCain!!!!

NEW! ... "CAN-BARELY-VOTE" BARBIE

Coming this Christmas!


From TEHRAN, Iran (AP)...

A top Iranian judiciary official warned Monday against the "destructive" cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

In the latest salvo in a more than decade-old government campaign against Barbie, Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said in an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi that the doll and other Western toys are a "danger" that need to be stopped.

Unfortunately things like "Hollywood couples selling ugly baby pictures for thousands of dollars" and "Paris Hilton" do exist here, so Ghorban might actually have a point.

"The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter ... as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena," his letter said.

"Undoubtedly, the personality and identity of the new generation and our children, as a result of unrestricted importation of toys, has been put at risk and caused irreparable damages," he said.

That really is a heads-up play outta this guy. You'd hate to see Iran's glorious Islamic culture get infected with devil women learning to use their sexuality to lure men into letting them drive or watching a soccer match at the stadium! Can you imagine? Bitches be running wild man. Next thing you know, women would think they could have jobs like a police officer or something.

MORE LIKE VALEN-SINS-DAY

Saudi Arabia has asked florists and gift shops to remove all red items until after Valentine's Day, calling the celebration of such a holiday a sin, local media reported Monday.

"As Muslims we shouldn't celebrate a non-Muslim celebration, especially this one that encourages immoral relations between unmarried men and women," Sheikh Khaled Al-Dossari, a scholar in Islamic studies, told the Saudi Gazette, an English-language newspaper.

So who knew after all this time ... I'm Muslim! Terrible news sweetie ... I had to cancel our reservations at Morton's Steakhouse and return the red dozen I got you. During my morning prayer facing east to the Holy Land, I asked Allah, and he was pretty clear that he wanted me to spend the $200 i had allocated for our big night on something much less sinful. If fact, he told me to buy Rock Band for Xstation 360. Praise Allah!

Under Saudi law, women are subject to numerous restrictions, including a prohibition against driving and a requirement that they get a man's permission to travel or have surgery.

A businesswoman told the Times of London this month that she was detained and strip-searched by the religious police for holding a meeting in a coffee shop with male colleagues.

Wait? Women only need a simple permission slip from a man and then they're allowed to drive or travel? Jesus! That's madness. There must be accidents all the time in Saudi Arabia with women driving all over the place.

Also this "religious police" sounds kinda sexy. There's always hot girls at Starbucks whom i wouldn't mind stripping down.

Oh and Sweetie ... you have my permission to get that boob job.