I tried to come up with a funnier headline than the one from the actual "news" story from ABC, but failed miserably. Here's a video even. I seriously feel like I'm taking crazy pills:
More than half of all adults, including one in five of those who say they are not religious, believe that they have been protected by a guardian angel during their life, according to a new survey by Baylor University's Institute for Studies of Religion.
The survey polled 1,700 respondents of diverse religious faiths: evangelical Protestants, black Protestants, mainline Protestants, Catholics and Jews.
I wasn't going to have kids, but now i think i might. I'll home school them and tell them how the earth, creatures and humans were created by Bug People that live in the crust of the planet Mars. And how earth is just one big video game that the Bug People control.
But what about when they go off to college? My guess is that fortunately for their sakes: an EFFING ANGEL will drop down out of the sky and tell them the truth about the "real god" and they'll suddenly believe in the Jesus stuff, instantly erasing their minds of the Mars Bug People stories i had filtered into their growing brains the past 18 years.
I do have one question though for the people that claim to have interacted with angels: Will they still "be your guardian" and help you out if you immediately start masturbating upon them showing their presence? I feel like this could be a problem if the angel looks anything like Adriana Lima ... so i want to be prepared.
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